Speak(ing) And Listening.

The text came in cryptically from an old friend as I was traveling. “Do you know anyone who loves to interview people and who also loves Peloton?” “Well, ME,”  I replied.

Turns out that one of the wildly popular Peloton instructors was coming to town to visit the hugely successful (and just huge), first in the nation Dick’s House of Sport. And the event team was looking for a facilitator to interview her.

Oh and, it turns out, she was my favorite instructor – the one who got me through the pandemic, Tunde Oyeneyin.

I was thrilled to be able to meet her and more important share her story.

My own story with Tunde began in April of 2020 when I started riding my stationary bike in my garage as the pandemic was in full force.  I knew I needed to move every day and it was still snowing in Rochester even though it was April because when it’s Spring everywhere else it’s still winter in Rochester – so I needed an inside solution.

So I started spinning. Peloton became my lifeline to other people who were trying to be well while sickness and fear raged all around them. Tunde’s special style of teaching – with inspiring imagery, her repetition of coaching mantras, and her inspiring smile - combined with amazing music made me keep coming back to be in her virtual presence.

Then, of course, there was her message of body positivity and transparent sharing of her own journey to fitness and athleticism that was inspiration for both my daughter and me.  Here was this strong, fit, beautiful young woman who told her story of growing up feeling bad about her size.  She shared openly her journey during her rides and how through movement she learned to love her body and all it did for her.

And then there was the seminal moment in June 2020 when she offered up her heart and soul to do a ride of healing following the murder of George Floyd. And I along, with tens of thousands of others found ourselves sweating and weeping at the same time on the bike.

But I didn’t know her whole story until I read her book SPEAK which is even more inspiring and filled with stories that move you to action.

Speak stands for Surrender, Power, Empathy, Authenticity, and Knowledge. The book shares stories from Tunde’s life that bring the significance of each of these words to her leadership and presence in the world.  As someone who loves acronyms that have an impact (EDGE: Explore, Dream, Grow & Excite®) I was completely drawn to the lessons learned and the insights she shares in the book.

But at the time I had no idea about how each of those words would be the guide to get me through our interaction that day.

The day of the event reminded me of that Spring of 2020 – snow was falling as the flowers were trying to burst through the grass. I was ready. I’d read and re-read her book (knowledge). I’d come up with an interview arc that would allow her to share her insights and her soul.  And even came up with a Peloton version of the Proust Questionnaire, i.e., favorite instructor; song; sound; quality.  Followed by a series of questions that would reveal her journey and her wisdom.

I woke up so excited that day - and then I opened my mouth to speak, and nothing came out. I had lost my voice. Completely.

Now I’m an actor and I know the tricks to help you get a bit of a voice – honey; throat coat tea; silence. But nothing was working, and the time was short. I started laughing (silently) about the irony of not being able to actually speak as you are about to interview the author of the book called SPEAK. And then I started crying feeling that I was letting everyone down and more important that I wouldn’t be able to speak with authority about the power of our special guest (Surrender).

But I remembered Tunde getting on the bike after George Floyd’s murder – and pushing through no matter what - and I realized I had to make this work.  I had energy. I had a smile. I had done my homework. And most important – no one was really coming to hear me talk – they were coming to hear Tunde (Empathy).

I was reminded of the greatest lessons actors learn when we first begin our training – it’s not about you – it’s about your scene partner or the other actors or the audience. But you should never forget that your performance is never about or for you.  When you are focused on you – how you are feeling, and performing – you are not in the present, you aren’t listening, you aren’t able to react fully, and you aren’t really there at all. Never forget - it’s not about you.

So I met Tunde with a wide smile - a spring in my step - and a big cup of tea (Power).

Her energy was of course amazing. She prepped in the “green” room by meditating and listening to music – and welcomed me to join her with my own meditation.  Then she put on her high heel slip-on open-toed sandals (I croaked to her – you are like a real Rochestarian because when it’s 35 degrees in Spring everyone still wears their flip flops!). 

And then we walked together to the stage where after explaining my throaty vibrato (aka froggy voice) I introduced her to the cheers of the audience.  (Authenticity)

The day was electric.

And l learned the most important lesson - I didn’t have to be loud – I just had to listen.

Just like we all should do when we need to learn.

Just stop talking and your heart will speak when it needs to.

And hear the wisdom that comes from others and take it in – and that moment will be incredible for all who are there to witness it because their hearts will be filled too.

I learned in that moment of listening - the true meaning of SPEAK – surrender, power, empathy, authenticity, and knowledge - and how each of these concepts will truly help you soar if you let them guide you.

Outlaw Leadership® is all about learning when to SPEAK and when to just listen.