Intentional Storytelling

Much of my work is about helping my clients share their stories with passion and “intention.” By intention I mean sharing a specific story that is intended to make an impact on their audiences - aka “intentional storytelling.” When they start to write, share, and live their intentional stories, it is remarkable what happens – people tend to lean in closer, they want to be in that person’s orbit, and the audience and the teller is somehow changed by the experience of the intentional story.

My own journey to understanding intentional storytelling began on the day my old life ended. It was the day I turned off the lights in my office at my law firm when it shut down for good, because the partners decided they didn’t want to practice together anymore.

I’d gone to law school because I thought that was the way my story was supposed to be written. While I’d dreamed of being an actor my whole life, to my parents who had raised me and funded my education, being an actor was akin to being…well, an axe murderer.  I wasn’t brave enough to take the road less traveled and become an actor, so instead, I took the well-worn road…to law school. 

When my firm shut down, I wasn’t particularly grateful for the gift the universe was giving me. I was devastated, despite having been quite miserable as a lawyer.  I still thought my profession defined who I was. 

That night when I came home after shutting off the lights at the office for the last time, I lay down on the floor of our brand-new suburban home in Bethesda, MD, clutching my old stapler in one hand (stamped with the firm logo – they weren’t going to need it anymore) and my leather briefcase (now empty) in the other, and started weeping loudly.  Wailing was more like it.   How were we going to pay the mortgage? How would we pay for anything for that matter? Who was I anymore if not a lawyer? (Coincidentally we had friends who came over for dinner that night. That didn’t stop my wailing.  I’m pretty sure they were afraid of me as I lay on the floor crying big snotty tears).

But in the following days I somehow stopped crying and dried my tears. And as I did, I decided it was time to write a new story for myself.  And that’s when I took the leap, jumped off the “edge” and followed my dreams to become a full-time working actor.

That new story has taken me on a journey around the world and provided my path to understanding how the power of storytelling helps us craft and form the life we want, instead of living someone else’s story.

Storytelling has always been (even more than what I do and who I am) my salvation: whether it was writing in my diary when I was a miserable teenager (replete with lock and key); journaling my way to creativity (three pages a day a la The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron) after having all creativity sucked out of me by the legal profession; writing a play to deal with the death of a close friend, or writing a column to transition to my new life in a cornfield. Each deep dive into storytelling with meaning helped me to grow and change and put me on the right path for my life. 

Most important, I have found that sharing stories out loud has been the greatest tool for developing, growing, and sharing who I am in my professional life, in my community involvement, and ultimately, who I want to be in the world. The stories that I’ve told about myself, and that I helped others to share about themselves, have helped me forge new relationships, provided much needed perspective and helped me to craft new visions for the future.

Story-crafting and story-sharing are tools that can be used for all aspects of our lives. Who we are at the core and our path to the future is illuminated by stories from the past.  So cultivate and share your intentional stories in order to grow our families; to share who we are at work and grow leadership and teams; and to create meaningful connections in our community. Be an intentional storyteller and change the world.

Outlaw Leadership® is fueled by intentional storytelling.