December 5, 2018

Here we are, another holiday season upon us. The malls are crowded. The internet is abuzz.  And the lists of the perfect gifts for “hims” and “hers” of all ages are being compiled and published to make all your shopping easier.

But this year, I just can’t get into the spirit of giving because what I really want is to be giving it all away.

Recently, I made the big mistake of visiting the land of dead furniture, aka the basement. I looked around and was haunted by the ghosts of holiday gifts past. 

As I peered into the storage room filled with the detritus from years gone by, I couldn’t help but recall the effort I used to make to buy the perfect gift for our children — which in our case meant you had to “nail it” for eight straight nights.

Gathering dust in the corner of the storage room was the electronic drum set that could only be used with the Wii — a gaming system we all had to have.  It sits alongside the electronic dance mat that was supposed to make you look like you could dance like Zac Efron in High School Musical.

Then there are the piles of video games I got each year for my son that we argued about for philosophical reasons. For years I wouldn’t let my son play with a game that had guns in it.  I caved when he argued that the lasers in the science fiction games weren’t real. (And yet somehow the result was still the same: dead aliens.)

Then there were the presents my parents gave my kids. There’s the Thomas the Tank train table and all the tanks in bins. And the dollhouse my father put together for our daughter which I can’t bring myself to give away since it was the last present my dad picked out for our daughter – 14 years ago. It sits beside the many tubs of American Girl dolls and their accessories waiting for my potential granddaughter to play with them; she’ll potentially love them.

Now I’m on a mission to pass along all the old perfect gifts. I know there are places that I can donate them, but first I tried to give them to friends with smaller children — like the real drum set we tried to give to our friends with triplets. They politely and smartly declined. I’m sure they don’t want them because they're on the hunt for the next big thing their children have to have.

My kids are so old now, they ask for things like shoes. Of course the shoes my son wants are so hard to get, they are back-ordered for two months. Shoes are the new Wii.

And you don’t even have to go out of the house to struggle to find the perfect gift.  You just sit on your couch and hold your phone. But cyber-shopping just doesn’t feel right when you're on the hunt for the perfect gift. More effort should be made. You need to suffer. You have to go to many stores and fight someone in the aisles and emerge victorious.

Yes, the holidays are a battle to find the perfect gift, serve the perfect meal and ensure everyone has all the required joy. But the real fight is in finding the will to step away from the craziness and give your family the gift of your time, attention and gratitude.  When you do, you might even have time to play with the old toys in the basement (or pack them up to donate).

As first published in the Democrat + Chronicle and on the USA Today Network.