December 27, 2017

As I sat down in the first-class cabin, I couldn’t believe my good fortune. I’d won the travel lottery: an early a.m. upgrade from Detroit to Phoenix. Usually, despite my constant business travel, I can never beat those people who are mysteriously ahead of me on the frequent-flier list. As I watch them board ahead of all the rest of us, I’m usually asking myself, a la Seinfeld: “Who are these people?”

But not on this trip. Today, the travel gods were in my favor. Not only had I snagged a first-class seat, but an aisle seat. I settled in, ready to fall asleep with legroom to spare. 

Then a passenger sat next to me and started eating a pastrami sandwich. At 7:30 a.m. I couldn’t help but notice that the sandwich was from a famous New Jersey delicatessen, Eppes Essen. (I only knew this because my husband’s grandmother would make us take her there every time we visited.)

So I did it. I talked to someone at 7:30 a.m. in first class. And he answered back. Apparently, he was such a fan of the deli that he had stopped there on the way to the airport (his connection was from Newark) and bought the sandwich, plus some pastrami to bring to his family in Phoenix. He was amazed I’d heard of the place. 

That started a rich and wonderful conversation that ranged from pastrami to gourmet food to his whole life story. It ended with an invitation to a movie premiere and a copy of his book. Turned out he was a former army physician, turned boxer, turned writer, turned movie producer. We had a lot to talk about before the plane landed. It’s one of the reasons I love to travel. It’s not only where it takes you, but the potential connections and the stories you can hear and share, during and after. When my kids would complain about long car rides and early flights, I always told them you have to make the travel part of the vacation or else you lose at least two whole days of your trip. 

The woman, Jessica D’Andrea Kapp, grew up in Irondequoit and is now a senior lecturer at the University of Arizona in Tucson. She has a Ph.D. in geology and has traveled the world studying, well, rocks. Her father, the posthumous inductee of the Music Hall of Fame, was Bob D’Andrea of the band the Rustix. The rocker’s daughter studies rocks—what a traveling companion! 

We started talking and by the time we were finished, I liked her story so much I decided to introduce her to my own book agent.

Years ago, my husband sat next to a guy on a late-night flight from Houston to Washington, D.C., where we were living. When they got to the airport, there were no cabs, so my husband gave that guy a ride home. By the time he’d dropped him off, we had an invitation to spend a day on his yacht in St. Tropez. So the next summer, during our trip to Italy, we decided to drive all the way to France to stay in his suggested hotel overlooking the Mediterranean and, sure enough, we were treated to one of our best days ever … on a yacht. 

Author and national speaker Amy Herman, an attorney and art historian, travels all over teaching the art and science of visual intelligence and perception, but a chance encounter made all the difference in her career. As she sat in her airplane seat, ready to plug in her earplugs and close her eyes, the woman in the row next to her started talking. Herman had wanted to take a nap, but the two ended up talking until the wheels hit the ground. Turns out the nice lady she was sitting next to was a book agent, and she ended up selling Herman’s book, Visual Intelligence, to Houghton Mifflin and later to 20th Century Fox. Amy says, “Meeting her literally changed my life.”

It’s not just plane rides. This past year, I found myself riding the rails again in New York, Pennsylvania, and Spain. Each ride provided a chance to breathe, do some work, and the time to get to know my fellow passengers. 

And then there are the taxi and Uber drivers who always have great stories to share if you only ask them. When I arrived in Charleston, West Virginia, last May, I ended up in the “Disco Uber.” I stepped into the van onto a shag rug, with a disco ball overhead and one cool driver in the seat. 

My favorite taxi driver was in Casablanca, Morocco. When we arrived, we decided to catch a cab to see the largest mosque in the world. Turns out our cab driver has a son in Buffalo and offered to take us on a tour through the markets. With great trust, we decided to go with him, and as a result, we saw parts of the city we’d never have seen on a traditional tour. 

My husband says his best taxi driver of all time while traveling for business was a woman named Wanda who picked him up after a delayed flight landed him early in the morning in Columbus, Ohio, with his suitcase missing.

Wanda didn’t just drive him to his destination, she helped him get a whole new wardrobe for his meeting. He loves to dress comfortably for plane rides (for everything, really), but his sweatpants and sneakers wouldn’t cut it for his business meeting. At 5:30 a.m., Wanda called her buddy who worked at a local men’s clothing store, and together they outfitted my husband from suit to shoes. Wanda is the only woman, other than his mother, who could get him to dress well. I wish I could have met her to thank her. 

Actually, one friend who travels weekly for business is doing just that. Demi Knight Clark, as regional vice president of sales for Interior Specialists, Inc., travels constantly from her home airport in Charlotte. She’s collecting what she has titled “Humans of Uber” stories and sharing them on Facebook. She also has taught me to leave inspirational quotes and notes in the seat pocket on the plane. You never know who might need some positive thoughts as they travel to their destination. 

Recently, as a result of that empty nest of ours, my husband and I have been traveling together on our business trips. While I love sitting next to him, I realize that something is lost in the connections we might otherwise make sitting next to complete strangers. 

But that’s all right—I’m learning to reconnect and get to know the complete stranger I sleep next to every night. As a bonus, I get to hold his hand amid the miracle of flight, and the miracle of quality time together.

As first published in the Democrat and Chronicle and USA Today Network.