A few months ago I received the best invitation ever.

"Pam Sherman, we think you are Super Sassy….and we'd like you to be our commencement speaker this year."

What an honor: to be called super sassy. And what an honor to be asked to speak to the students at Brighton High School. My own children have to listen to my advice, but these were other young people actually asking me to share my wisdom.

I accepted, and then self-doubt paralyzed me. What did I have to share that they would care to hear?

It took me months to write my speech. And when the day arrived—despite all my experience helping others present themselves with passion and despite the fact that I speak all the time in my work life—I was more nervous for this presentation than any other.

But one thing saved me. I finally realized, in the end, they wouldn't remember anything I said. Seriously, do you remember any words uttered at your high school graduation beyond your name? Only two people I know could remember their speakers. One was my much younger cousin, who had Conan O'Brien speak at her graduation. And the other was the mother of my friend, who had Eleanor Roosevelt. Really.

So I thought I'd share some of what I told them, both because I think some of it applies to those of us who graduated more than just a few years ago, and because I'm afraid those graduates have already forgotten who their speaker was. If you see one, remind them for me, would you?

Here's the slightly abbreviated version:

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"Let me share with you some of the things I wish someone had told me before I embarked on the journey outside the cocoon of high school and home.

I wish someone had told me that where I thought I'd end up is not where I'd actually be in the end, and that's OK.

I wish someone had told me that it's all about how you live every day, so you better pay attention every day.

And I wish someone had told me that one day my being sassy would actually be a good thing and that eventually, I'd make a whole career out of being sassy, and that being super sassy means being edgy in a good way. To me, having an EDGE means to Explore, Dream, Grow and Excite.

If you remember nothing else today, you can at least remember to have an EDGE. So here's what it means to me…

E: Explore.

When I say explore, I don't mean explore the road less traveled. I mean figure out the road you want to travel because you get to write the road map for your own life. And know that even if you take the wrong road or someone else's road, you will still learn from every step you take.

I let my parents write my map for me and so I became a lawyer, which felt like a wrong turn. Yet I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't taken that path.

Explore also means to explore the world within you and around you, either up the block here in Rochester or as far away as you can possibly dream of going.

You are already diverse, global citizens—you have to be, given life in the digital age. But don't just explore on your electronic devices. Actually, explore.

In my life I've been from Los Angeles to Lagos; Milwaukee to Morocco; Cincinnati to Saudi Arabia. And here's the thing: However far you go, the best exploration for me comes from the people you meet, the stories you share, and the emotional connections you make with other human beings.

So don't just explore geography. Explore the people who you may just keep in your heart forever.

D: Dream.

Dream big dreams and dream small dreams, but whatever you do, dream. Dreams are just about the only thing you can control because they are in your head.

I like to say a dream is a story that just hasn't happened yet, so you get to write it. And even if your dreams don't turn out exactly the way you want them to, that's OK. It's the act of dreaming that makes possibilities.

I dreamed my whole life of singing and dancing on Broadway, but the problem was: I can't sing or dance. So sometimes you have to adjust your dreams to real life. And sometimes you learn that when your dream becomes your real life, it may not be so dreamy. And even that's OK.

When I became an actor after the law firm I worked for in my "secure" profession went out of business and I decided to follow my dream, I didn't realize that my dream would be work. First, you have to get the job, and then sometimes it's really boring. (Yes, it's boring to sit and wait for Arnold Schwarzenegger to finish eating his dinner before you can be an extra in his movie—only to have your scene cut from the final version.)

So sometimes you have to find new dreams. But know that any dream you have will be supported by the stories of your past, which will illuminate the path to your future.

Most important: Don't put your dreams away. Do something about them. Every dream I've ever had I followed through on because I said them out loud to someone and then worked hard to make them come true.

G: Grow.

My favorite quote is: "Do one thing every day that scares you." Eleanor Roosevelt said that (probably while preparing for that graduation speech she gave).

We all have fears, but there's "scared and you do" and "scared and you don't," so you might as well do. And that's how you grow.

I hate to tell you, but whether you like it or not, life is going to happen to you, and you can't help but grow from it. So instead of just growing older every day, decide to grow some way every day.

Say yes to possibilities. Go to every party, class or event that comes your way. Decide to grow by always learning, and delight in the learning. Have the wonderment and curiosity that you have today for your whole life.

Which leads me to the final letter in EDGE. E: Excite.

Be enthusiastic. No one wants to hang with people who don't bring their energy. Don't just mark your time on this planet. Make a difference with your time and excite others around you.

There's an easy way to ignite the world. Ignite it with your gratitude. Apparently, giving is like a new drug that keeps on giving. Research has shown that expressing gratitude not only makes the person you're thanking feel good but makes you feel better and increases your energy. So let's say thank you to all those who helped you get to this day:

The janitorial staff that cleaned up after you. The cafeteria workers who taught you that Pop-Tarts cost money. The school nurses who let you hang—I mean rest—when you needed some extra sleep. And the bus drivers who drove you when you were tired, sweaty and hungry too and from school, sporting events and even Seabreeze.

And how about the teachers from kindergarten all the way to your many, many AP courses. Let's actually say thank you.

And this time, let's include the people who made it possible for you to exist. The people who gave you your winning ticket in the cosmic lottery: your family.

If you remember one thing today remember this: Live on the EDGE!"

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It was a blast to deliver this commencement speech. But in retrospect, it could have been much shorter. I could have just said that your job in life is two things: be self-sustaining and give and have love in your life.

Then again, that probably would have been too short for them to remember, too.

Watch Pam's speech

As first published in the Democrat and Chronicle and USA Today Network.