December 22, 2015

This is the time of year I just want to drop everything and scream in the middle of a crowded mall or equally crowded Wegmans: “Will everybody just please calm the @#$% down!”

Of course, if I did, I would be the one dragged away by security guards instead of all the crazy people clogging up the aisles and parking badly in parking lots.

These days, it’s so crazy out there that apparently I’m not even allowed to say “Happy Holidays” without potentially offending someone. Top that off with all the fear that we have in the world right now because of circumstances outside of our control.

We are afraid to be in crowds, get on airplanes, and even welcome people in need into our communities. I’m afraid to even use the internet these days: It’s either filled with political polemics or photos of very fattening cookies.

Can’t we all remember that they call it “Silent Night, Holy Night” for a reason?

I kept hoping for things to be different, but I finally realized that I can only control one person: me. I can’t control the crowds, but I can choose to follow a different crowd. I can choose to follow those who are doing what we were meant to do during the holidays — enjoy each other, tolerate others and wish for peace on Earth.

Like the crowd that Asbury First Methodist Church organized a few weeks ago, gathered to sing in the streets of Rochester. Or the crowd that the Catholic Family Center Refugee Assistance Program brought together to support refugee families. Or those who volunteer at the Center for Youth, helping young people find a safe place during the holidays. Or those who protect families from abuse at Willow Domestic Violence Center.

All you have to do is pick a place where there’s good happening, go there, and make a difference that will change your attitude about the world.

I’m not Christian, but I don’t have to be Christian to understand that Christmas is a holiday all about how one person born into a dangerous time changed the world with a message of peace, acceptance and, ultimately, love. That’s something to celebrate wherever you choose to worship.

And the beauty of New Year’s is it doesn’t matter what religion you are: For all of us, there’s going to be a new year when we open our eyes on Jan. 1. If you think about it, that makes it the most hopeful holiday of the year.

So here’s my new crowd-control idea for the rest of this holiday season. Let’s stop putting down others for how they choose to worship. Let’s stop putting down others for how they wish someone well during the holidays. If you want to say "Happy Holidays," emphasize the Happy. If you want to say "Merry Christmas," remember it’s about being Merry. If you want to wish for peace on Earth, find time to be peaceful yourself.

To that end, I’m going to do my best to heed the call of silence this holiday season and see what a little serenity does for my sanity and my heart, so I can welcome the New Year with kindness, gratitude, generosity and, most important, hope.

See you on the other side of 2016.

As first published in the Democrat + Chronicle and on the USA Today Network