Pam Sherman

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In Each Other We Trust

“Without trust we don’t truly collaborate; we merely coordinate, or at best cooperate. It is trust that transforms a group of people into a team.” Stephen Covey

I got a call from a client explaining that despite the fact that her leadership team seemingly liked each other, she couldn’t help but think that somehow they didn’t fully trust each other. Her hunch was spot on. They were cordial, friendly, and yet somehow that pesky word, “siloed” was on repeat in her discussion with me.

What did “siloed” really look like for her team?

Even though they had consistent team meetings, they didn’t actually talk to each other or solve problems together or call on each other to ensure they weren’t duplicating efforts. And to top it all off despite that gloss of congeniality, they really didn’t seem to “know” each other, she said.

I wanted to reach through the phone and let her know: “YOU ARE NOT ALONE.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten this call. It could be a new team not really knowing each other, or worse, a team that has worked together so long they make assumptions rather than just talking to each other, or even worse still, the team that is suspicious and hyper-competitive with each other resulting in all sorts of bad behavior.

Trust is a critical element of leadership. The ability to create it in others helps to build strong and high-performing teams. And according to Dr. Paul Zak, trust results in greater engagement and even, joy in those who feel it.

Paying lip service to trust is the sure-fire way to ensure that you actually don’t trust each other. Instead digging deep to do the work of instilling trust requires peeling back the many layers we use to protect ourselves. It takes time. And it takes intention. And it takes a conscious change of behavior to grow it.

According to research, there are three key behaviors that help build and create trust in leadership: building positive relationships; consistency of behavior; and good judgment and depth of experience.

Of course the winner in that triumvirate: positive relationships.

Too many times companies invest in “team building” by gathering groups of leaders together to connect, get to know each other, and then when they are back in the day to day of work devolve back into the old habits that resulted in the lack of trust.

Truly ensuring that there is meaningful trust in teams requires meaningful behavior change. Here’s what I have found to be trusted when you want to make sure that trust sticks:  

  • Start by paying attention to your own behavior – be the first to instill and create trust.

  • Create rituals and reminders that trust is paramount in each and every interaction.

  • Hold each other’s feet to the fire of trust accountability (aka provide transparent and consistent feedback to each other).

As an actor we learn to trust our fellow actors implicitly with our hearts and whole selves. We have to given the incredible stakes that occur when performing live in front of an audience. Upon entering the rehearsal room we create a covenant of trust that will help us in performance – together. We use all the key elements of building and instilling trust in each other. And when we do, that is when we soar – together.

The same can be true for any team - as long as trust becomes the cultural norm and driver of behavior.

When teams I work with walk out of a retreat about trust, they walk out with a manifesto of behavior that will ensure the work we’ve done away from work will actually change how they work together at work.

Outlaw Leadership® is all about making the bold choice to instill trust as a leader, and to take the leap to trust in others. Why? Because that’s how you ensure that your team and your organization will continue to grow and thrive and have an EDGE: Explore, Dream, Grow & Excite®.