I Have Confidence
I have always loved the song “I Have Confidence” from the Sound of Music. In fact just writing the title makes me think of the iconic scene with Julie Andrews taking huge strides to her new life while singing out loud about all her feelings – excitement, fear, uncertainty. It’s a joyous ode to the thing we are all seeking: confidence.
Watch it and you’ll marvel at the prescience of the lyrics and the performance given all that we know now about imposter syndrome and how confidence is so often cited as one of the biggest obstacles to leadership.
And for those who truly suffer from the syndrome – there is hard work to do to overcome it. As a syndrome, it can be crippling. It can stop you from moving forward, speaking up and even just showing up.
But more often than not, it’s a label we put on ourselves because it’s a trope that we keep hearing outside our head, and it embeds itself in our head like an earworm – like a song we can’t get out of our head that annoys us.
Well, I say: Change THAT tune. Make a new tape. Make a new internal anthem for your leadership.
And I know it takes work to do that – but you have to start somewhere.
Whenever I encounter a client who says they have “imposter syndrome” we start by examining their story. We go over their strengths. What they are proud of. What they’ve accomplished to get where they are and the obstacles they overcame to get there.
And we write it like they are someone else writing about them. It’s an inventory of success from the outside in. More often than not what is revealed is someone who has through drive, intelligence and attention to values, risen up, because they have much to offer and so much to admire.
But that still doesn’t magically instill confidence or remove that imposter from their head.
When we dive in deeper to see what’s really going on – it’s pretty understandable they might feel vulnerable. Often the imposter is nagging at them when they have reached a position that is uncomfortable and new. They are stretching themselves and their teams. Naturally, they feel uncertain. Naturally, they wonder am I up to the job.
Asking those questions isn’t evidence of a syndrome: that’s being self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and frankly, a true leader.
We need to keep changing the tune in our head note by note.
Here are some tools:
Keep track of wins/successes/ and even failures where you recover and learn as evidence of growth
Choose your cheerleaders – the external group that you can share your voice out loud with and have them give you the tape of their voice cheering you on. Sometimes showing others our imposter helps shrink him/her.
Find a mantra, a song that lifts you up, a reading from a great book - anything that will drown the words of the naysayer in your head and fill it with joy, abandon, and energy.
And whenever that voice in my head shows up and asks, “Who do you think you are? I answer back: I’m ME – and I can sing like Julie Andrews (at least in my head) so get ready for the showstopping number of my leadership.
